Category Archives: Psychology
“While many victims of sexual assaults are intoxicated, so are victims of other crimes — like robbery — in similar percentages. Further, as many have written, a woman can drink until she’s blue in the face and unless a rapist is present, she won’t get raped. She might have a really bad headache the next day, but she won’t get raped.
But what about men who drink and then get all handsy and don’t know that they’ve raped until they wake up the next morning horrified with themselves? A myth, says Culp-Reeser, who cites research that shows men who already plan on victimizing women will sometimes drink as a way to justify their behavior. Further, men who rape don’t just do it once; they tend to consciously select a victim, deliberately isolate her, and use alcohol to diminish her ability to say no. Alcohol is among the many “tools” employed by rapists who wish to victimize women; it’s not a potion that transforms a carefree college girl into a sexual assault victim.”
some good quotes from this article:
1) “A 2001 research project into sexual assault and alcohol commissioned by the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism puts it this way: “Although alcohol consumption and sexual assault frequently co-occur, this phenomenon does not prove that alcohol use causes sexual assault.” In some cases, the researchers pointed out, it may actually be the other way around. The desire to commit a sexual assault may actually encourage alcohol consumption, as some men may drink before assaulting a woman in order to help justify their behavior.”
2) “But the important point to note is that alcohol is just one of many tools at rapists’ disposal — and if alcohol isn’t available, that won’t necessarily stop a rapist from assaulting people.”
3) “And perhaps more broadly, it’s important to remember that sexual assault isn’t actually unique in its relationship to alcohol. In fact, at least half of all violent crimes occur after the perpetrator, the victim, or both have been drinking alcohol. Sexual assault simply fits neatly within that larger pattern — yet we’re much less likely to assume that alcohol factored into an armed robbery, or call on people to stop drinking so they won’t get mugged.”
I was thinking something similar to the third quote (from the second article) the other day. We don’t say that murder victims should have made sure they didn’t drink because it’s their fault they were targeted, because that’s a load of crap.
Sure, there are many things that I can do to keep myself safer, and I do most of those things. I don’t go out by myself late at night. etc. etc. But that doesn’t guarantee my safety. In fact I have seen how it can lull women into thinking they are safe, until they are not, until they are raped by someone they know. While they were trying to “be safe”. The fact is that I can modify my life all day long, it doesn’t make rapists, and sexual harassers, and people who wish me harm, magically disappear. And I think that’s the broader conversation we need to have, why do we keep the onus on women to change their lives instead of addressing the very real problem that rapists keep raping?
So I stumbled onto this website: Mark Manson (subtitle The Psychology of Life).
And he has some good articles and good observations.
I don’t agree with everything, but that’s life.
I have read a bunch of stuff because there can be some gems in there.
A summary of two articles I found to be really good are found after the cut.
The truth is that domestic violence and violence against women touch many of us. This violence is not a private matter. Behind closed doors it is shielded and hidden and it only intensifies. It is protected by silence – everyone’s silence. Violence against women is learned. Each of us must examine – and change – the ways in which our own behavior might contribute to, enable, ignore or excuse all such forms of violence. I promise to do so, and to invite other men and allies to do the same.
I didn’t know Sir Patrick Stewart had been abused.
What a powerful story, and beautifully told.
In the video below Sir Patrick Stewart speaks about his own experience with abuse in his childhood home.
Beware of triggers concerning domestic violence, violence towards women and children and verbal abuse.
Presented without commentary.
It’s a thing apparently, with a name. File this under a new thing I learned today, that finally puts a name to something I’ve observed.
“The impostor syndrome, in which competent people find it impossible to believe in their own competence, can be viewed as complementary to the Dunning–Kruger effect, in which incompetent people find it impossible to believe in their own incompetence.”
“The impostor syndrome, sometimes called impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.”
“The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than average. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their mistakes.
Actual competence may weaken self-confidence, as competent individuals may falsely assume that others have an equivalent understanding. Kruger and Dunning conclude, “the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others”.“
I saw a lot of Imposter Syndrome at Wellesley, the women’s college I attended, as well as at many Ivy Leagues.